What is that hurting in my Heart?Friday, October 22nd 2010 @ 9:22 AM
I was having lunch today with my friend Stella (thought that is a ficticious name) who is a long time mantra chanter and my wife Amita. Stella was concerned about a friend that put her down after having made an appointment for a courtesy knitting class. She went on to tell how her friend was always letting her down but that she always kept the door open for another meeting and friendship. As she was telling her story, I could feel that dreaded sensation in my chest. It is almost always there for me if I look for it , yet when people tell me stories like these the sensation gets more pronounced. As we walked out of the restaurant, Stella and my wife went to see the Dalai Lama, and I went on to check downtown Toronto. Not that I do not like the Dalai Lama, I just had other things to do. The sensation persisted for a while and as I walked down the city, the breezy cold weather chilled out my internal perceptions. I wondered what was really hurting inside of me. Was it my friends heart? Was it my heart? Was it my Ego? Was it her Ego?
I was back to square one, thinking about feelings. There is that part of me that does not understands feelings and tries to reason them out. But how can one be compassionate when we hold such sensations inside. Perhaps I should I gone to see the Dalai Lama and ask that question. What would it take to release it? I can imagine my good friend Patrick smilling at me and saying... "All-Love Hari, All-Love!"